The SGC Holding Cell Tango
by Gwenhwyfar1984
Summary: The women of the SGC and Atlantis discuss their various crimes. Crossover with SG1.


Title: SGC Holding Cell Tango

Author: Earllyn

Rating: T (language and murder)

Pairings: Sam/Jack, Sam/Pete, Elizabeth/John, Kate/Carson, Teyla/Ronan, Janet/Daniel, Katie/Rodney, John/Teyla, John/Chaya, John/Teer, John/Mara, John/Rodney, Daniel/Various women, Carson/Nurse.

Author's notes: I love the song Cell Block Tango. I have always wanted to do a Stargate version of it but there never were enough women. Then someone wrote a Matrix version (which is one of my favorite fics) and I was worried they were think I was stealing their idea. But then Atlantis came along and the opportunity was too great to pass up. **Not to be taken seriously!**

Disclaimer: I do not own SG-1, Atlantis, or the song Cell Block Tango.

Betaed by: Celtic Knot

* * *

Elizabeth walked into the holding cell of the SGC, her hands cuffed, staring straight ahead. She was not ashamed of what she had done. He had deserved it!

She was pushed into a cell with five other women and the door was slammed shut. She looked around at her cell mates, all of whom she knew, none of whom were looking regretful. She sighed and turned to Katie Brown. "What'd you do?"

Katie smiled and walked over to her. "You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like Rodney. Rodney liked to talk about his accomplishments. No, not talk, _brag_. So I went into our quarters one bad day, looking for some sympathy and there's Rodney lying on the bed typing away on his laptop and talking…No, not talking, _bragging_. So I said 'You brag one more time…' And he did." She sighed sadly and went over to a bunk. "So I went to the armory, grabbed a stunner and fired two warning shots…In. To. His. Head."

Elizabeth suppressed a smile and turned to Janet Fraiser. "What about you?"

Janet sighed. "I met Daniel Jackson eight years ago. He told me he was single, and we really hit it off. So we started living together. We had a routine. He would come home, I'd fix us some drinks, and we'd have dinner. Then I found out… 'Single,' he told me? Single, my ass! Not only was he married…oh no, he had _three_ wives. All over the galaxy, you know." She smiled, remembering what happened next. "So he came home one day and I fixed him a special drink. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic!"

Samantha Carter grinned and patted Janet's shoulder.

"What about you?" Elizabeth asked.

Sam sighed. "So I was at home one day working on my motorcycle, minding my own business, and in storms my fiancé Pete in a jealous rage. 'You've been screwing the General?' he says. He was crazy, and he kept shouting, 'You've been screwing the General!' Then he ran into my screwdriver." She grinned. "He ran into my screwdriver ten times!"

Elizabeth looked at Teyla, who had remained quiet through everything. "What about you?"

Teyla looked up, sadly, and quietly spoke. "I met Ronon Dex on a mission. And we were perfect for each other. Then one day we were stick fighting together and it got really heated. He was vicious! I attacked back and then suddenly he fell to the ground, dead! I was blamed for it!"

"But did you do it?" Sam asked.

"No! I am not guilty!"

Everyone looked at her sympathetically and Elizabeth turned to Kate. "What about you?"

Kate sighed. "Carson and I were the perfect pair. I healed people's minds, he healed their bodies." She stopped and laughed bitterly. "Well, one night I had finished up with my last patient and went to the infirmary to see if Carson wanted to get dinner. I walk into the room and I see… Carson and a nurse on a bed. Together. Well, I blacked out and don't remember anything. Traumatic amnesia, you know? It wasn't until I was washing the blood off my hands that I even knew they were dead!"

"What about you?" Janet asked. "You've heard all our stories, now it's your turn!"

Elizabeth nodded. "I loved John Sheppard more than I can say. He was athletic, strong, a soldier. But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every mission looking for himself and along the way he found Teyla." She paused and everyone looked at Teyla. She just smiled, embarrassed. "Chaya, Teer, Mara, and Rodney." At this everyone looked at Katie, who just shrugged. "I guess you can say we broke up because of diplomatic differences. He wanted himself alive, and I wanted him dead!"

Several guards came in and the leader opened the door to the cell. "Let's go ladies." They filed out, all with smiles, and Elizabeth looked at the guard. "They had it coming."


End file.
